S & L Health & Wellness was a concept thought up after years of struggle and pain that has only metamorphosed into the beautiful reality of “This too shall pass” and“Every cloud definitely has that silver lining”.

SIBLINGS

SIBLINGS

Siblings: your only enemy you can’t live without.” – Anonymous

Oh boy! Did I once relate to the enemy bit! Hahaha. And then as time went by, you really can’t live without them. And I can proudly say, at a somewhat seasoned age of 42, I love my sister to tiny bits and wish I had many moments of my life back to do it all over again!

Do you have an older or a younger sibling? Well, I’m sure most of you do, and if you are one of those who don’t- I’m sure there was someone in your life sibling-like to you.

I thought of writing up a bit on this subject during these very trying times. The unprecedented times such as these calls to mind many things we or in this case I may have taken for granted in life! And the joy of having a sibling may have been one of them.

It was only during our mid 20’s that we may have developed this strong bond, which again only got cemented by unfortunate events and adversity in general.

Don’t get me wrong! We have shared many many many special childhood memories and at that point, were sort of inseparable! I remember my sister shielding me from all the baddies in class, and even picking up fights defending me! Oh yes, she did. So much so, she would hold my hand and cross the road carrying both her bag and mine too! I felt so entitled as the younger one, it wasn’t even funny!

Being the younger child, or the youngest shall we say of the two I was most pampered and knew I could get my way around anything and everything! Yeah, I was a mild deviant of sorts!

My sister at some point felt she was always being ignored and neglected and that I got most of the attention (which I did)! I remember being so horrible that I used to resort to calling her “Blacky” and claim victory to her tears! My sister is beautiful and has this lovely naturally tanned skin tone, which I deviously chose to use as my weapon back in the day!! Gosh! There isn’t a single day where I am sheepishly not reminded of that! I guess it was only natural for her then at that age to feel threatened and underappreciated.

As days went by, and we were teenagers, I began resenting my sibling for the way she looked and how she was admired by the opposite sex! Like I said, she is gorgeous! On the other hand, I was battling obesity and self-body-shaming! So, you know what I mean? The green-eyed monster surfaced as well!

So, all I ever wanted to be, was my SISTER! She had become my only muse and the only one I wanted to look like and be like! I think I had gotten to be so clingy that she felt suffocated and started laying ground rules.

And then suddenly, the tables turned and I felt all what she probably did-Underappreciated and alienated!!

Years went by and everything started changing ever so gradually. And we were back to where we belonged- closer than ever!

My point here is that at some point in life children do face some sort of resentment towards their siblings. However, through experience I can say that it doesn’t last long or doesn’t need to last long!

How did we work our way through things?

Don’t take it personally!!

Yes, absolutely not! At those ages and even as grown adults, we at times say and do things we may not even understand and rarely mean! So, please don’t take it personally. I’m sure you’ll were put together as siblings for a reason!

Talk! Talk! Talk!

If a sibling simply cannot move past the past, perhaps you should have a face-to-face, heart-to-heart discussion with him or her. Perhaps you might want to share your perspective on how you felt inferior to the sibling growing up.

If all else fails, limit time with a hurt sibling and simply let their comments float by if you must be in his or her company. The best way to end a fight is often to refuse to engage in the first place. Let me tell you how difficult that is! But the results! Yes, definitely rewarding!

I have a wonderful relationship with my sister to this day. She is my biggest supporter and much like a second mother to me! We are married and have families of our own. We depend on each other for almost everything and more. We have never been as close as we are today. And we owe it all to “communication”. As lame and silly as it may sound to some of you who may have had more deep seated issues than us, and I would never insult you by saying “I understand”, as it takes one to know one, but I can assure you someone has got to break that ice if you want it bad!

And yes, I wanted it bad. I wanted my sister in my life for a very long time. It tore me apart for the times we had silly squabbles for no apparent reason or for very evident reasons as well! I wouldn’t be at peace until we made up and hugged each other. And I know she did as well. It takes two, right?

During these trying times, having your family by your side, even virtually can be the best therapy ever. I am so glad I never let my ego and vanity get in the way of my sibling relationship and I intend keeping it that way for a very long time!

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